Up to a couple of years ago, if you asked me if I loved myself, the answer would have been ‘no’. Now I feel very differently about myself. I used to spend a lot of time over the last twelve years dreaming about ways in which I could top myself. I was very unhappy about myself as a person. That has now completely gone and I put that down to rebirthing.
Something I’ve experienced lately that has helped me through some tough issues has been to understand that I am loosening the grip on something, and when I experience that, the hook to whatever that something was melts away and I am at peace again. Sometimes clients ask, "how can I let go?" and I’ve come to understand that you can’t try and let go, you can’t do it all at once. Loosening our grip on something is a softer, easier way to work with the really stuck and difficult issues.
I can think of several times in the past few years where I’ve woken in the middle of the night and every sort of worry has been there and I just can’t get to sleep. And then I’ve started to connect my breath and breathe consciously, and I’ve kept going and the next thing I’ve known is waking in the morning and everything feels just fine.
There are many ways that rebirthing has changed things for me. Now, I feel I am true to myself. I never dreamed I could feel this good. I am also really clear now that I know I am not my thoughts, I am so much more than my thoughts.
I was always hearing that I didn’t have a sense of rhythm, and now I am a salsa dancer and an incredible salsa dancer in a way that I believed was not possible. And then the relationship with my parents: I love them and they know it and I know that they love me and it’s beautiful. And then just the sense of peace that I now feel. Being able to understand the whole uselessness of proving to the world that I am right and they are wrong and giving up all that fighting energy. So it’s quite a lot really!
For the first 7 years that I did rebirthing, I was always trying to figure out how it worked. And then after about the 7th year I realized that actually that was what I loved about it: that I just couldn’t figure it out! And I reckon that’s what it has given me. It’s given me a life where I have no idea where I’m going or what’s opening up and it’s given me a freedom to live from a place in myself which is just going to unfold. And that’s really the greatest treasure for me. I don’t need it to be safe. It’s just free. I think my version of safety is having the freedom of not knowing.